Dialectic of Public Sphere vs Private Sphere in Millennial Families in Lampung Customary Law Community

Lampung’s patriarchal customary law faces severe challenges from the millennial generation, who constitute more than 29% of the total population of Lampung. This challenge is based on the fundamental character of the millennial generation, who are open-minded and obtain the opportunity of having an interethnic marriage. This article maps the dialectic of the public sphere vs. private sphere in millennial families in the Lampung customary law community and how women’s strategies survive the confines of patriarchy. This article explored data from a millennial married couple who live in four districts/cities in Lampung using a qualitative, socio-legal study approach standing with ten principles of marriage on happy family (SMART)’s Khoiruddin Nasution. The findings: The boundaries between the public and the private were no longer tight because husband and wife could work collaboratively, even though there were some challenges due to the dominance of patriarchal mindset in extended families, which was sometimes affirmed, even enjoyed by the husband. However, the subconscious of the millennial family was still patriarchal even though it no longer applied strictly at the practical level. Meanwhile, women survived passively by taking advantage of the economic conditions of their families or changing environments. In addition, the active strategy is to improve formal education; live separately from the extended family; have a stable job (before marriage) and manage working time.


Introduction
The Lampung people adhere to a strong customary law system, especially in the family sector. Customary law regulates the position and relationship of husband and wife. After marriage, the wife becomes under the authority of the husband's relatives. The wife's life or death is the responsibility of the husband's relatives. The position of the wife's descendants continues the descendants of the husband. Since the marriage ceremony, the husband controls all of the wife's wealth. The wife must remain under the control of her husband's relatives forever, under any circumstances, because divorce is taboo in Lampung customary law. If the husband dies, the wife must be willing to marry the husband's brother. 1 Customary law also regulates the separation of the public and private spheres within the family. The public space is controlled by men, while the domestic space is the domain of women. This restriction starts from the nuclear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In terms of marriage, 58.54% of the millennial generation in Lampung Province are married at 22.67 years. Unlike the previous generation who have experienced arranged marriage, the millennial generation is more flexible in choosing a life partner. Before marriage, they were more concerned with personal achievements in their chosen public sphere. Millennial women have more space to communicate, as well as determine their marriage, 10 as long as they are not affiliated with religious exclusivism. 11 The shape and structure of the millennial family are different from Generation X and Baby Boomers. Extensive networks and communications make millennials free to participate in the public sphere and find partners outside the community, region, ethnicity, and even nationalities. 12 This intermarriage trend makes the composition of husband and wife complex. Meanwhile, wide access in the public sphere makes them relatively mature psychologically and economically. The accumulation of these conditions ultimately positions the nuclear family as an arena for negotiating public and private spaces. The pattern of husband and wife relations in millennial families is shifting. The dominance of men over women in the family is also transforming. 13 At this point, the customary law faces a serious challenge. The structure of society began to shift. However, the number of millennials is only 29%. It means that the generation X and Baby Boomers, who widely practice the customary law and patriarchy, still dominate society. This article examines how public and private spaces are negotiated in millennial families in the Lampung customary law community. Furthermore, this article examines women's strategy in millennial families to survive the patriarchal confinement and be active in the public sphere within the Lampung customary law community.
Several previous studies, including Zuhraini, are relevant to the subject of this article. She said that women's rights and position in the Lampung Sebatin customary law community could be considered far from the principle of justice. Marriage law and law of inheritance do not have a vision of justice. Forms of injustice for women in the customary law community of Lampung Sebatin, seen KEMENPPPA and BPS, Statistik Gender Tematik: Profil Generasi Millenial Indonesia 2018, p. 30-33. 11 KEMENPPPA and BPS, Statistik Gender Tematik: Profil Generasi Millenial Indonesia 2018, p. 30-33. 932 from the gender analysis, are marginalization, subordination, stereotyping, violence, and multiple burdens. The patriarchal power is quite dominant here. 14 This patriarchal domination can be seen in the marital status of Lampung Seibatin. Although the people of Lampung Seibatin can choose one of three choices of marital status, namely Nyakak, Semenda, and Raja-Raja, Nyakak which is dominantly patriarchal, where the wife is involved in the husband's kinship, is relatively more widely used and becomes mainstream for the people of Lampung Seibatin. 15 Even in the customary marriage of sebambangan, women become the abducted object, 16 and later, it became a serious problem because it was against the law. 17 Male domination in Lampung customary law is also evident in inheritance cases. Herlina explained that the position of daughters in the Lampung Saibatin traditional inheritance system is not similar to the sons because, after marriage, daughters will follow the husband's family. In a traditional Lampung marriage, the wife follows the husband in power in the family and plays a full role in the domestic space in her new family. 18 While the one who has the power to manage the inheritance is the eldest son, 19 although in some cases there is degradation, the patriarchal vision is still evident. 20 Meanwhile, in a wider space, men hold a significant role as the holder of the line of descent, especially the eldest son who acts as the family leader. The penyimbang child (hereditary leader, eldest male) has the right and obligation at the same time to take care of the younger brother and sister who are not  21 Women are then marginalized. However, there has been a shift in its development where Lampung women have access to the public sphere, even in traditional farming communities. 22 In the political realm, the opportunity for women to take part in politics gets legal support with a minimum quota of 30% of candidates for getting elected as members of the Regional People Representatives Council (DPRD. However, this has not been maximized due to cultural factors, opportunities, and the capacity of women who have limited mobility due to double burdens and cultural pressures. 23 Meanwhile, in terms of the economy, especially among fishers, women make various efforts to be able to carry out the dual role of public and domestic, for example, by creating new sources of business, allocating time, and improving skills. 24 From this description, the study of the relation of public space and domestic space in the context of the millennial inner family has not been widely discussed, especially in Lampung. Therefore, the article wants to explore the dialectic of public and domestic spaces in millennial families within the Lampung customary law community and how women's strategies are to survive the patriarchal confinement. In addition to answering those two questions, this article contributes to developing fair sharia (ahwal al-syakhsiyah) knowledge, especially the ta'aqquli dimension of Islamic family law. 25 Strategically, this study reveals the strategy of surviving women from patriarchal confines to accommodate their rights.
This article was written based on the results of socio-legal research by utilizing the constructivism paradigm. In this paradigm, social reality is formed as human thinking and acting activities. 26 In law, this study examined how community members negotiated within customary law communities. Law is seen as something that lives (law in society), not a normative text (law in the 934 book). Certainly, this study is close to the realm of ethnography: it examines social behavior, symbols, material sources, as well as the characteristics of the interpretation practice of a certain human group towards its way of life. 27 Primary data sources were obtained from millennial families who negotiated space, especially women who could survive the patriarchal confines of the Lampung customary law community. The study locus is divided into two domains: rural and urban. The cities chosen were Metro, Kotabumi, and Bandar Lampung. Meanwhile, the villages selected were the centers of the two clans of Lampung indigenous peoples in Tulang Bawang and Lampung Timur.
Millennial families were selected purposively with the following considerations: a place of residence (urban and rural areas), ethnic origin of the married couple (both husband and wife are Lampung people; husband is from Lampung and wife is from other provinces; and husband is non-Lampung and wife is Lampung person), and the livelihoods of married couples. The secondary sources used are all possible data, including relevant journals and books.
Data collection techniques used are observation, interviews, and documentation. The observation was used to observe the behavior of family members in sharing space and survival strategies. Interviews were used to investigate the data. Meanwhile, focused group discussion was used to finalize and strengthen the findings.
The interpretation of collected data was performed by using hermeneutics and symbolic interactionism and connecting it with ten principles of happy family marriage (SMART) presented by Khoiruddin Nasution. 28 Hermeneutics as an interpretive tool was used to interpret a person's behavior in a spatialdialectical frame. Symbolic interactionism was used to see how family members communicate, giving meaning in the context of spatial dialectics. While the vision of mubaadalah (mutuality) is used to map out how both parties are fighting over space and at the same time sharing it.

Millennial Families, Customary Law Community, Patriarchy, and Marriage Principles
Some of the key concepts used in this article are millennial families, customary law communities, patriarchy, and the principle of happy family marriage (SMART). In this article, the definition of the millennial generation or generation Y follows Hawe's opinion, which states that they are the generation born in 1982-2000. 29 They have a special character related to the vision of life,  31 The basis for determining these provisions is inherited from previous generations as truth and wisdom are continuously maintained. In the context of Lampung, customary law is all traditions and regulations on how to live life like the Lampung people.
Patriarchy is a social system that positions men as the central point in political, economic, moral, and social roles. Men get privileges only because a person is born as a man, while women are positioned as advocates for these privileges. 32 In this article, patriarchy is positioned as a spirit that is contrary to the spirit of the millennial family, as well as getting the challenge of feminism which mainstreams gender equality. 33 In the context of contemporary Islamic law, patriarchy is also opposed in the spirit of encouraging women to take part in the public sphere. 34 Meanwhile, a happy family (SMART) can be actualized based on ten principles of happy family marriage (SMART): willingness, eternity, monogamy, religious norms, discussion, non-violence, mutuality (mubaadalah), justice, and communication. These ten principles can be grouped into two types: foundational principles (willingness, eternity, monogamy) and instrumental principles (religious norms, deliberation, non-violence, mutuality [mubaadalah], justice, and communication). 35 Mubaadalah is 'take and give' between two people. Mubaadalah is a perspective of mutuality. In family context, Mubaadalah occurs when a husband and wife give each other and complement each other to create a balance in Mubaadalah offers a middle point between extreme textualism and extreme feminism. Mubaadalah is still conforming to the text but not textually. Mubaadalah is to have a vision of equality by reinterpreting the text, not discarding the text as extreme feminism does. 37 In this article, qiraah mubaadalah is used as a vision of the study and a strategy to achieve balance.

Dialectic of Public Space vs. Domestic Space in Urban Millennial Families in Lampung Traditional Law Society
In general, the pattern of millennial families in Lampung is almost the same as what Supaat said, that the husband does not solely fulfill family needs. 38 The wife also works to provide livelihoods for the family, like the millennial couple HIR and ISE, who married according to Lampung Pepadun customs and now live in the City of Metro. 39 Both HIR and ISE had completed their master's degrees and worked as permanent lecturers (civil servants or PNS) at a public university. 40 Their house, which was separated from their extended family, allows them to independently manage the public and domestic spaces of the household with their two children. 41 HIR provided sufficient space for his wife to work as a lecturer, but with a note that she must obey him as her husband. Domestic duties also remained the responsibility of the wife. In this case, a woman gets a double burden. 42 The principles of a happy family (SMART) were fulfilled by HIR and ISE, namely willingness, eternity, monogamy, religious norms, discussion, justice, and communication. 43 Although domestic tasks were still the main tasks of ISE, both of them were willing to take care of the household, cook,  44 In this case, the teamwork is not done mutually.
In terms of leadership, the husband remained dominant. Who makes the important decisions in the family? "Husband," replied HIR. Therefore, HIR demanded that his wife obey him. If she disobeyed his orders, he would snub her. If the wife worked outside until she left domestic work, then HIR would reprimand her. 45 If using patriarchal control mechanisms, 46 freedom for women and equality between men and women have existed in a family. For instance, working outside the home for women and the collaboration between spouses in doing household chores. However, elements of patriarchal culture, such as in deciding important matters in the family which the husband fully owns, has formed a pseudo-mutual relationship.
In this case, the husband still shows the side of masculinity as the decision holder, so it is implied that the husband still plays a prominent role and the wife is inferior. 47 When the wife who had a professional role outside forgot about household chores, the husband would reprimand her. On the other hand, when the husband did not work but and did not do household chores, it was considered normal. In this case, there was an imbalance between husband and wife in terms of working and taking care of the household. The wife was still considered a domestic worker. According to Miller, this is the elaboration of the sociological aspect between husband and wife that creates a stereotype of sex role in a household. 48 In addition, HIR's efforts to snub and reprimand his wife were an attempt by the husband to use psychological and symbolic violence to strengthen his patriarchal power. In Nasution's perspective, what HIR did was heedless of the following principles of a happy family: discussion, non-violence, and full mutuality. 49 A similar pattern also occurred in RDR's marriage, who lived in Metro Timur. She married her husband with the Lampung Pepadun custom. She lived in her own house with one child. She had a master's degree and worked as a lecturer. Meanwhile, her husband held a bachelor's degree and worked as a teacher. 50 In the context of segregating public and domestic spaces, RDR families tended to be open. 51 RDR had a choice to work in the public sphere as a lecturer, but with a note "Still fulfilling his obligations as a wife," said RDR. 52 This means that household activities were the main role of a woman, while professional work was secondary employment. Again, a woman carries a double burden, following Hidayati's findings. 53 In daily affairs, the couple worked together to help each other. However, the wife cooked, and the husband helped prepare the dishes. Her husband also supported the wife with simple chores such as "watering flowers, drying clothes, and sweeping floor," said RDR. In parenting, the couple worked together. The husband's position in the family was quite central. The husband decided all important decisions, and the wife was required to obey him. If the wife disobeyed, then the husband would admonish her. In addition, the husband had the main role as a breadwinner. However, if there were one condition that limited him from working, then it would be no problem if he stayed at home and his wife worked outside. 54 When the husband and wife had activities outside simultaneously, their child could protest because she was still two years old and had no mental barrier to express her feelings. There was even a conflict when the wife had to work overtime while the children had a temper tantrum at home. Therefore, RDR consulted and committed with her husband that she would not do any workrelated tasks when she was at home. According to RDR, in the context of adat (customary law), the role of women as wife and mother could not be eliminated. 55 The patriarchal realm was still attached here. 56 In the RDR family, the principles of a happy family (SMART) that could be seen were willingness, eternity, monogamy, religious norms, discussion, justice, and communication. However, the researchers could locate the negligence of the non-violence principle due to conflict following the RDR's public activities.
On another side, millennial couples, LDS and HSM, were applying the Lampung Seibatin custom. LDS worked as a lecturer at Metro. She had a master's before getting married. Her husband was a lecturer in Bandar Lampung, and he also had a master's degree. 57 The couple lived with their parents in Metro. In public and domestic affairs, both of them were relatively open-minded. LDS had been working before marriage, so her husband did not have a problem with it, as long as "I know my obligations as a wife," said LDS. In the family, household chores were collaboratively done by the husband and the wife. The wife played a full role in the kitchen, while the husband helped clean the house and raised the child. However, overall, the husband held the central position of controlling the family. 58 Regarding the economic role of the family, LDS did not have a problem when her husband chose to focus on the domestic area and gave up his professional role in public. However, LDS called it "Not good," commenting on women who actively worked outside and did not take care of domestic work; LDS called it "Not good." The most important thing for her was the balance between domestic and public space, even though the wife was no longer committed in the private sphere. 59 In the minds of LDS, the domestic role of women remains the primary role, as Zuhraini found out earlier. 60 However, in the LDS family, all the principles of a happy family (SMART) have been applied, except for full mutuality. 61 In Bandar Lampung, the researchers interviewed AST. She was born in 1989 in Kotabumi, from a Javanese-background family. Meanwhile, her husband KII was born in 1987 in Pringsewu. The couple was married in Pesawaran using the Lampung Seibatin custom. However, when the wedding procession took place in Kotabumi, they used Javanese tradition. The couple now lived in Bandar Lampung in their own home with two children: a girl and a boy. AST was fully active as a housewife. With a Diploma 3 in Health Analyst from a Health Polytechnic, AST worked at Ryachudu Hospital Kotabumi and Bumi Waras Hospital Bandar Lampung. After getting married, she gave up her professional duty and became a homemaker for her family. 62 AST's day-to-day activity was to take care of her husband and family. AST's husband had not allowed him to have professional-related activities until https://jurnal.ar-raniry.ac.id/index.php/samarah 940 now. "My husband does not allow me," said AST. According to him, the wife's job was to take care of the family's domestic affairs. Her husband, KII, focused on his professional career. KII had a Diploma 3 degree in Cartography from Universitas Lampung. KII worked as a construction consultant. He focused on doing the job and did not deal with domestic chores. In this case, women did not have access to the public sphere at all, as mentioned by Zuhraini's findings. 63 Even though her husband worked from home (WFH) during the pandemic, the household activities remained the same. However, when AST could not carry out her domestic role, such as when she was sick, busy, or having a family event, her husband would handle the domestic chores. How was KII's income? "Alhamdulillah, it is enough to cover the family's expenses," said AST. With relatively stable economic conditions, AST had no reason to work. The researchers had asked about her plan to continue her education. "I have not thought about it, sir," said AST. 64 Did your husband not allow you to work outside at all? "Yesterday, I registered for a CPNS (civil servant) test, but I failed," said AST. Her husband only allowed her to work if she became a civil servant. Next, how was the condition of the husband's family? KII's father was a The Ministry of Public Works and Housing pensioner, while his mother was a homemaker. KII is the eldest child and the only son in the family. The husband's family still adhered to customary culture in family relations, both within the nuclear family, or the relationship between the nuclear family and its extended family. 65 From the explanation above, the researchers argued that AST was withdrawn from the public sphere to focus strictly on the private sphere. Her husband built a clear demarcation line between public and domestic spaces with a specific role in each position. 66 Even though he lived in a city that tended to appear egalitarian, the family appeared to have its resistance. Furthermore, a stable economic condition had strengthened the status quo. The support of a large family also influenced the underpin of masculinity-patriarchal domination. Confidentially, the husband enjoyed this.
However, there were certain times when the husband opened the barrier and entered the private sphere. But the point was, the wife could not open it herself. On the other hand, the husband provided opportunities for his wife to have a professional life with one ticket: becoming a civil servant. Therefore, economic opportunity and social status factors might be a pathway for her to survive. Another interesting point was that the educational backgrounds of the couple who had graduated from well-known universities did not seem to influence their views on patriarchy. Using the principle of a happy family, it was difficult to find the principles of willingness, discussion, mutuality, communication, and justice in their household. 67 The researchers also interviewed DAY, a man who was born in 1984. He had a master's degree and currently worked as a Civil Servant Lecturer. He married his wife with the Lampung Pepadun custom. Meanwhile, his wife was from non-Lampung ethnicity. She graduated with a bachelor's degree and worked as a math teacher at a public vocational school in Bandar Lampung. 68 The couple lived in their property in Bandar Lampung with their two sons. DAY stated that it was okay for women to work outside regarding his wife's activities. "So that the wife has a busy life," said DAY. However, he cautioned, "Do not forget your obligations as a housewife," DAY stated. 69 If a wife left her obligations, it would be terrible gossip in the family. Therefore, women must take care of their husbands and children. Because according to DAY, it is "a nature of the woman," DAY said. 70 However, according to him, customary rules were no longer binding because times had changed. So, it does not matter if women also worked as long as they are not neglecting their nature. Therefore, according to him, women must divide domestic and public roles well. She had to prepare breakfast before leaving for work. When husband and wife both work, there must be a sharing of chores every day. 71 There happened to be an auntie who helped take care of the house chores in their household. However, child care and meal preparation were still the wife's main responsibilities. The husband's role was to guide children doing their schoolwork, buy gas cylinders and gallons of mineral water, and wash the motorbike and car. In family rules, the husband was in control. When the wife disobeyed him, the husband would snub and scold her. 72 It can be concluded that the woman could access the public sphere because of her education degree. The wife had a bachelor's degree in Mathematics Education and teacher certification (Akta IV) to work as a teacher. However, this profession has risks, especially during the pandemic in which the learning would be delivered online from home and also positioned to take care of the household chores.
In the perspective of a happy family, the principles fulfilled by the DAY family are willingness, eternity, monogamy, religious norms, discussion, pseudo-mutuality, and communication. However, the principle of nonviolence had not been fully actualized because the wife still received punishments when she ignored her domestic role. 73 The researchers then interviewed an informant from Kotabumi, SLW. She was born in 1985 in Kotabumi. She came from the Lampung Menggala Seibatin family. Meanwhile, IND's husband was born in 1977 in Nakau Kotabumi. IND came from the Lahat family. 74 SLW married IND using the Lampung Seibatin custom. The couple lived in their property in Tanjung Senen, Kotabumi Selatan. SLW had finished high school. Meanwhile, her husband only finished his junior high school education. Apart from being a homemaker, SLW also worked as a casual laborer with an income of IDR 60,000 per day. 75 Meanwhile, her husband was a construction worker. Sometimes the husband's income was sufficient. But if the husband was out of work or there was an urgent need, sometimes the husband's income would not be adequate. For this reason, SLW worked in the field. "Instead of doing nothing home, sir. For me, as long as the work is halal," said SLW. 76 SLW usually left for the field after dawn, while her husband left at 06.30 WIB. Who would care for the child if SLW left early in the morning? "Yes, my husband would take care of our child. He bathes the child and prepares the breakfast, like noodles and eggs," said SLW. 77 SLW came home at 11.00 AM. Meanwhile, her husband took a break at 12.00 WIB before leaving for his job and returning home at 04.00 PM. When SLW was at home, she carried out all domestic roles. However, the husband also did domestic chores, especially when the child was going to school. SLW was born as the eldest of five siblings. The first two were female, and the last three were male. As a child, the mother played a full role in taking care of the family and children. Meanwhile, the father focused on the public sphere and did not interfere much in domestic affairs. However, after getting https://jurnal.ar-raniry.ac.id/index.php/samarah 943 married, SLW immediately lived together with her husband. On the first day at home, SLW was surprised because her husband cooked breakfast in the morning. IDR was good at domestic matters, such as cooking, mopping, and washing clothes. Her husband's cooking was more delicious than hers. "My husband is used to living a hard life. So, he usually takes care of his domestic matters," SLW said. When the SLW family visited, they, especially the mother, were surprised because their son-in-law was good at cooking. The phenomenon contrasts with SLW's father, who was reluctant to care for domestic affairs. 78 So, what are your parents' comments? "Great," said SLW imitating the words of her mother and younger brothers. SLW's three younger brothers used to take care of domestic affairs when they were unmarried, but they no longer took care of domestic matters after getting married. Why? "Yes, why have a wife then? It is the wife's job to take care of her husband." 79 From the above review, several things can be drawn. First, the husband held the main role in managing public and domestic space in the SLW family. Even though a patriarchal customary law community surrounded him, IDR could breakthrough as he came from a different culture (Lahat) with a more mutual (mubaadalah) collective vision. Patriarchy in the SLW extended family was still quite strong. It could be seen in the statement of three SLW younger brothers-even though they came from the millennial generation compared to SLW-which stated that the wife's job was to take care of her husband.
Furthermore, the three men had said, "Great." They appreciated what IDR had done. They still had an egalitarian millennial vision. SLW said, "They feel inferior to my husband." However, they did not want to practice the mubaadalah vision because they were comfortable with the patriarchy: enjoying a privileged status simply because they were born as men.
In an agrarian society, women had the privilege of entering the public sphere because many jobs required no formal qualifications. The SLW's survival was easier because two reasons: (i) the fulfillment of family needs which sometimes had not been met with the husband's income; (ii) an agrarian environment where the majority of women usually worked in public spaces.
A slightly different condition occurred in ARM's life. He is a man of Lampung Abung sub-ethnic who was born in 1997 in North Lampung. He was married to RES, a woman born in 1996 in Way Kanan. Both of them were married to Lampung custom using a penitek (dowry) of IDR 100,000. 80 Interview with SLW about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 2, 2020. 79 Interview with SLW about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 2, 2020. 80 Interview with ARM about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on April 3, 2020. Siti Zulaikha, et.al. DOI: 10.22373/sjhk.v5i2.9150 https://jurnal.ar-raniry.ac.id/index.php/samarah 944 They lived with their two children. ARM worked as a driver at the Sanitation Service of Lampung Utara. Meanwhile, his wife, RES, was a homemaker. ARM's income was IDR 1,150,000 per month. His income was not sufficient for household needs. However, ARM forbade RES to work because of the trauma of her mother's experience of having to work hard to earn a living until she became seriously ill. Therefore, RES stayed at home even though she wanted to participate in supporting the family's financial needs. 81 ARM focused on working outside in this family while his wife focused on taking care of her family. RES must serve her husband and children and obey her husband's orders in all conditions. In this case, the barrier between public and domestic was very strict. There was hardly any dialogue space at all. It might happen due to childhood trauma and low education.

Dialectic of Public Sphere vs Private Sphere
Referring to the principle of a happy family, the IDR family fulfilled all fundamental and instrumental principles. As for the ARM and RES' family, not every principle fulfilled, including discussion and cooperation.

Dialectic of Public Space vs. Domestic Space in Rural Millennial Families in Lampung Customary Law Community
In Tulang Bawang, the researchers interviewed NYS, a woman who was born in 1983 in Gedung Harapan, Lampung Selatan. Meanwhile, her husband, HDR, was born in 1980 in Tulang Bawang. The two of them were married using the Lampung Menggala custom. They both lived in Indo Lampung with their three sons. 82 NYS was a casual teacher at an elementary school and a homeroom teacher for the 6th grade in a madrasa in her village. She had served at the elementary school for four years and the Madrasa for fifteen years. She departed at 07.30 AM and returned at noon. She took care of the children and all the family's needs at home.
Meanwhile, her husband, HDR, had a casual job in agriculture. HDR left at 07.00 AM and returned at 05.00 PM or even late at night. The HDR income was sufficient to meet the daily needs of the family.
NYS said that she was initially unemployed after graduating from a vocational school. Then she taught at the Madrasa. After that, she got married. Her husband allowed NYS to continue her undergraduate studies in Islamic Religious Education at STAI Maarif NU, Metro. Every Saturday and Sunday, she would stay in Metro for study. What about the children? "Well, they are with their father," replied NYS. 83 From the findings, the researchers argued that Interview with ARM about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on April 3, 2020. 82 Interview with NYS about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 9, 2020. 83 Interview with NYS about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 9, 2020. Siti Zulaikha, et.al. DOI: 10.22373/sjhk.v5i2.9150 https://jurnal.ar-raniry.ac.id/index.php/samarah 945 the domestic and public relations in the NYS family were quite loose. She took care of the children and family when she was at home. Meanwhile, in the morning, she worked in public spaces. Evaluating the husband's income, there was no strong indication of NYS's motive for working to meet family needs.

Dialectic of Public Sphere vs Private Sphere
However, NYS had a double burden: in the public space as a teacher and in the domestic space as a housewife. Thus, there was no strict barrier separating the public and private spheres within the family. NYS had a free option to go back and forth between the two domains, as was the case with career women in general. 84 The husband was also free to enter in and out of the public and private. It could be seen, for example, in his willingness to take care of his children when his wife spent two days and nights in the Metro every week for approximately for years. HDR understood how he was doing and what he had to do. Indirectly, it was an indication that he applied the concept of mubaadalah: cooperation. When the wife was at home, he went out to work. When the wife was studying outside, he remained at home.
The researchers also met DES, a woman born in 1982 in Kotabumi. Her husband, HDI, was born in 1985 in Gunung Batin, Lampung Tengah. The couple was married in 2006 using the Lampung Menggala tradition. 85 They lived in their property in Tulang Bawang with their two sons and one daughter. DES worked as a commissioner in a state agency. Meanwhile, HDI worked as a building contractor, cassava farmer, and shrimp fisherman.
DES obtained a bachelor's degree in Computer Science at STIMIK Surya Intan in 2007. A year before she graduated, when she was writing her thesis, HDI asked him to elope with all Lampung Menggala traditional requirements such as inheritance certificates, dowry for penepik, kemat, penyeruit nirul, penyeruit, and so on. They both agreed to marry by eloping, not by a formal proposal, because DES's father would potentially reject it because she was still a university student. After marriage, DES completed her studies a year later.
After finishing her study, she taught at Universitas Megou Pak in 2008. In the same year, she lived independently, separated from his parents. In 2014, DES continued her master's in computer science at IBI Dharmajaya Bandar Lampung and graduated two years later.
In 2018, she worked as a commissioner. Every day, she left at 08.00 AM and returned at 04.00 PM. If there were an election, she would arrive home until late at night. There was a time when she had to go out for six days without going

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home because she had to supervise an area. Meanwhile, her husband worked from 08.00 AM to 05.00 PM. Under these conditions, then who takes care of the children? "Yes, at first, the children were taken care of by their grandmother in the neighboring village. But now there was a housemaid at home." The researchers argued that the boundary between public and domestic space was relatively loose from the findings. DES could easily move from public to private space, and even she had a more dominant role in the public sphere. Her mother and a housemaid supported her activities who carried out childcare roles.
HDI did not restrain his wife at home but supported his wife to be active in public spaces. He encouraged his wife to complete her undergraduate studies and continue her master's degree. "The master's study is for my wife. I do not need a diploma or higher education." HDI said, as quoted by DES. 86 DES stated that her activities in the public sphere were not in line with Lampung customs. According to her, in Lampung custom, the breadwinner must be a man, while a woman was in charge of taking care of children. "The wife does not work outside because the wife's job is to take care of the kitchen, bed, husband, children, and relatives," said DES. 87 However, this condition might not always happen because, in Lampung customs, the husband had the most significant control in family life. According to DES, if the husband allowed his wife to be active in the public sphere, there was no problem. Even in her case, her husband supported one-hundred percent of DES activities. "School is for yourself, as long as you do not forget your nature," DES said, quoting her husband's expression. 88 Although the above statement explicitly supports the wife to enter the public sphere, there are also indications to perpetuate patriarchy by mentioning the nature of women in a domestic space. In this case, women's destiny seems to depend on the kindness of men who open up space for women to move out of the private sphere into the public. The strategies used are education and politics.
The researchers also interviewed a man with the initials HMN. He was a resident of Tulang Bawang who moved to Central Lampung. He had a master's degree and worked as a lecturer. He married his wife in a non-Lampung custom because his wife was not originated from Lampung. They lived in Central Lampung with their four children on their property. 89 His wife was a civil servant midwife with a Diploma 3 in Nursing. HMN enjoyed his wife's privilege, and he was grateful towards the family income. However, he advised his wife, "You must maintain the honor of our family wherever you are," said HMN. The wife also could not ignore her obligations as a married woman. 90 The wife was responsible for taking care of the kitchen while the children's affairs were shared. The husband helped his wife in cleaning the house and educating the children. Although the wife was also working, everything was going well. HMN was relatively open-minded and understood his wife's busy schedule.
For HMN, the husband was obliged to work because he was the family's breadwinner. However, husbands should not neglect household matters. The principle was also in effect for the wife. She could do any activities outside, but she must not neglect her household responsibilities. Meanwhile, when both of them were working outside, their children's affairs would be managed by their parents. 91 The interesting part was that HMN applied the POAC pattern: Planning, Organizing, Actuating, and Controlling. Everything was carried out with mutual understanding because the scientific basis of HMN was Islamic economic management, so that he would tend to think and act effectively. The researchers could see that the separation of public and as was done loosely from the findings. The principle of mubaadalah was applied here based on awareness of rights and obligations and gratitude. Therefore, in the case of the HMN family, all the principles of happy family marriage were perfectly fulfilled. 92 To strengthen the study in rural areas, the researchers interviewed EAP, a woman who lived in Batanghari, Lampung Timur. She married her husband using the Lampung Seibatin custom. EAP worked as a civil servant lecturer while her husband worked as a civil servant outside the city. Regarding working women, according to her, it was natural. However, EAP stated that "The wife must manage her time to take care of the children and household chores." 93 Concerning household chores, EAP completed it daily, assisted by a housemaid. Regarding the childcare role, she would do it because her husband worked outside the city. When he was on vacation, he would help take care of the house and sometimes cook. At home, EAP must play a dual role, especially when she was alone: in a public and domestic space simultaneously. It even

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included doing heavy household chores such as painting the house, repairing tiles, and so on. According to EAP, regarding the fulfillment of a living, it was the husband's responsibility. "Husbands still have to work because the obligation to fulfill a living is on the husband. Housekeeping is a shared job," says EAP. Meanwhile, according to her, it was the wife's responsibility in household chores, even though a housemaid assisted it. 94 One of the obstacles that EAP faced was when the child had a temper tantrum when his mother worked. Therefore, she would maximally try to take care of the child before going to work and after coming home from work. Moreover, her husband was mostly out of town. One of EAP's advantages was that she had started working as a civil servant before marriage, so she has already existed in the public sphere.
The researchers also met AND, a man from Lampung Timur. He and his wife were from Lampung ethnicity. The two were married using the Lampung Seibatin custom. AND had a master's degree and worked as a lecturer, while his wife had a bachelor's degree and worked as a teacher. 95 They lived in their property in Lampung Timur with their two children. According to AND, it did not matter if women were active in the public sphere by working. "As long as the job is clear," said AND. He allowed his wife to work outside, but before 02.00 PM, she must arrive at home. 96 In family management, they solved it cooperatively. But the master of the kitchen was still a woman. Meanwhile, the husband helped as much as possible, especially any heavyweight chores requiring physical strength.
Husbands held significant control in the family, including essential decision-making. If the wife disobeyed his orders, then the husband would: "I will let her know," said AND. 97 In the AND family, all the fundamental principles were met. The principle of the instrument is partially fulfilled, while it was also found the aspect of interdependence mutuality 98 .
In the case of AND, women could have a career in the public space because of four things: undergraduate education, work, additional income for the family, and the rule of returning home at 02.00 PM-therefore, in the eyes of the extended family, the wife was still active in carrying out her domestic roles.
Interview with EAP about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 23, 2020. 95 Interview with AND about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on April 21, 2020. 96 Interview with AND about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on April 21, 2020. 97 Interview with AND about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on April 21, 2020. 98 Khoiruddin Nasution, Membangun Keluarga Bahagia (SMART), p. 10.

Women's Strategy in Fighting Against Patriarchy
There was a strict separation between public and domestic spaces with strict territorial divisions in the Lampung customary law community. Men work outside the home to provide for their families. While women stay at home to take care of the family: husband, children, relatives, and the household chores. 99 The community still maintains this pattern as an ideal pattern, and even some are considered part of the nature that Allah has determined. Therefore, women's efforts to get out of the private sphere are not always easy because there are many arising challenges. 100 As time goes by, the millennial generation comes with the spirit of a different era. They are digitally literate and receive a relatively better education, many of whom receive education outside the sub-district, outside the district, outside the island of Sumatra, and abroad. There they met many people with various characters. Some of them enter into serious relationships and end up in the marriage. 101 Interracial marriages between different ethnicities create hybrid families. Within the concept, various conceptions of customary law are carried out in dialectics to formulate new norms regarding decency, courtesy, cooperation, and new rules for dealing with family problems, including the separation of public and domestic spaces.
The survival of women from the patriarchs is carried out with a long struggle and strategies and is sometimes benefited or harmed by different conditions. The strategies most often used are education, economy, employment, socio-cultural, and geographical.
First, the formal education strategy. Education is the most common strategy and has a high degree of success. Almost all female respondents who could survive the patriarchal restraints came out using educational strategies. It occurs because women have equal rights to access education and teaching in Islam. 102 The pattern usually occurs when women continue their education to the undergraduate level and return to their hometowns. As scholars, they will be seen as educated and respected individuals. They would also be asked to be involved in various activities that require formal qualifications: a level that can be rare for villagers. DES, for example, even though she still held a bachelor's degree, she could already teach in universities. To become a lecturer, one must meet the 950 minimum qualification requirements of a master's degree. However, because there were no residents with a master's degree, DES might continue to teach on campus. 103 Likewise, with NYS. Even though she had just graduated from high school, she was asked to teach at the Madrasah in his village in Tulang Bawang 15 years ago because very few people had formal diplomas, even at the high school level. In order to pursue a career, NYS also took an undergraduate study at a higher education institution in Metro. Although her educational background was Bachelor in Islamic Religious Education, NYS was appointed as the homeroom teacher for grade 6 because the school needed more teachers. "If there is already a homeroom teacher, I will move to become a subject teacher," said NYS. 104 However, one female resource person who, despite having a formal diploma, could not be active in the public sphere: AST. She could not work because her husband wanted her to focus as a homemaker. 105 Secondly, economic strategy. Economic conditions can be one of the reasons that motivate women to have access to the public sphere. For example, SLW, who could work as a labor in the field because her husband is also a laborer, especially when her family had urgent financial needs. 106 For fishing communities, this strategy could be done by increasing skills and doing side jobs. 107 The findings above indicate that the coercive circumstances may open the barriers, not necessarily the husband or wife choice or awareness. In other words, women are called to carry out their mubaadalah vision by solving family economic problems. Visually, economic factors appear as external factors that married couples cannot create. However, the lack of financial income also occurs because men lack the capital to earn a decent income. This capital can be in the form of social capital, cultural capital, and financial capital.
Thirdly, work strategy. In some cases, work can be a strategy for women to be active in a professional role. Work in this context means any occupations that a woman has obtained before she gets married, including established jobs and has high prestige, such as lecturer, teacher, midwife, or civil servant. 108 Prospective careers and income may become a strategy for women to continue to be active in the public sphere. Moreover, the profession as a civil servant, which is currently becoming a demanded profession for most residents because it promises a stable income and a secured pension. 109 Not infrequently, the wife's salary, which is higher than her husband's, is one of the triggers for the wife to continue working in the public world because if she is divorced, it can provide additional income for the family. However, sometimes it can cause problems because women have a double burden, for example, in the case of the aforementioned female lecturers. 110 Fourthly, socio-cultural strategy. Socio-cultural conditions are also an influential factor. An agrarian society tends to be more open to the role of women in agricultural land or the public sphere. In certain contexts, after getting married and moving from their parents' residential place, the new family has the flexibility to manage their household, regarding how the division of domestic and public work is set, including related to child care. The phenomenon may create an opportunity for a woman to work in the public sector. 111 Another strategy is to marry a man from the non-Lampung ethnic group. Interethnic marriages tend to provide a higher tolerance for differences concerning public and private space in a family. 112 However, there are times when a wife does not come from Lampung. She will be carried away into the traditional value of Lampung custom because of the husband's dominance in the family. 113 Fifthly, timing strategy. This strategy is implemented where women have working hours but less than eight hours in limited conditions. For example, working only half a day. Several professions can be done in less than eight hours, for example, being a teacher in an elementary or secondary school in which it will end at noon or no later than 01.00 PM. "So, becoming a teacher is not too heavy. Only half a day. So, it is okay." Said NYS imitating her husband, 952 HDR. 114 On another side, other professions may be a choice, including the midwife profession at the Puskesmas (Community Health Center) is active only from 08.00 AM to 12.00 AM every day, 115 or the agricultural laborers who can work from early in the morning until noon. This timing is identical to what fisherwomen do. 116 With this time arrangement, women still have free time during the day to be present at home to carry out their domestic roles. Attendance is important at this time of day because children's activities and the environment exist at those hours. The extended family and the surrounding community will usually see the woman during the day. If she is active at home during the day, they will see that the woman can fulfill her domestic role well. This type of arrangement makes the woman safe from negative rumors from neighbors and her extended family.

Conclusion
Millennial families carry their landscape in public and domestic relations. The boundaries between the public and domestic are no longer tight because man and woman can work together, although there are cases in which the dominance of extended families and patriarchal nature remain in effect. However, surprisingly, millennial men are generally still entangled in the patriarchal realm and sometimes enjoy it. On another side, within the subconscious mind of millennial women, domestic roles are still their main domain or nature. In the context of the Happy Family (SMART) marriage principle, all the fundamental principles are met. Meanwhile, the principles of the instruments that are fulfilled are religious norms and communication. Meanwhile, the principle of discussion sometimes slips away so that the principle of full mutuality does not materialize and leads to the neglect of the non-violence principle. This accumulation causes the dialectic of public and domestic spaces to leave much friction still. Women's survival is usually done by taking advantage of the family's economic condition that is in trouble or the changing environment. Active strategies that can be done are formal education and established jobs, mainly obtained since they were single. In addition, work allocation between the wife and husband is also an important strategy in facilitating women's activities in the public sphere. In dealing with public space vs. domestic space dynamics, several things need to be considered. Firstly, communication and openness within the family are important factors to ensure that existing barriers are not static but flexible and dynamic according to needs. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 114 NYS, Interview with NYS about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on March 9, 2020. 115 Interview with HMN about Public and Domestic Space in the Family on September 4, 2020. 116 Rostiyati, "Peran Ganda Perempuan Nelayan di Desa Muara Gading Mas Lampung Timur," 187-98. Siti Zulaikha, et.al. DOI: 10.22373/sjhk.v5i2.9150 Secondly, education can become a trigger for the development and empowerment of women. Therefore, access to education by women needs special attention. Thirdly, the Pre-Marriage Course (Suscatin) needs to be optimized by considering the community's mindset so that it can provide applicable provisions, not merely normative. This finding needs to be followed up by extracting data from other customary law communities to capture the relationship between public and domestic spaces.